Where I learned to take my health into my own hands

My first experience with health empowerment happened at a young age. When I was three years old, I had a procedure to remove a particle from my eye. I was in the hospital room with my parents when two nurses in green gowns, masks and caps came in and started tying me down to the bed. It was terrifying.

My parents stopped them. “Why is this necessary? She’s a smart kid? Just ask her to do what you need her to do. You don’t have to tie her down.” As my father brought the conversation into the hall, the volume fading away, “…you don’t have to wear these masks. You’re scaring her.”

In the end, one unmasked nurse held my hand and walked me barefoot through the hospital halls and into the operating room. The surgeon greeted me with a smile of curiosity and helped me jump up on to the operating table.  

Maybe because of the contrast of events, I remember feeling empowered for the first time. I walked into the operating room on my own terms. And when I met the doctor’s eyes it was just like, okay I’m here, we can start now. Three years old, and I felt like an equal. Because my dad had set me up, and because I didn’t yet know differently.

I woke with casts on both arms so I couldn’t bend them. When we got home I heard my father on the phone with the hospital. “Why does she have these casts? There’s nothing wrong with her arms.” Pause. “All you have to do is tell her not to scratch her eye, and she won’t scratch her eye." Pause. "You just have to tell her.” Pause. “You’re gonna have to trust me. I know my daughter. We’re taking these casts off right now.”

My dad hung up the phone, came to me with scissors and cut the casts off. “Just don’t scratch your eye.” And I didn’t.

I love recalling this experience because it instilled in me a sense of vigilance and ownership over my health that I had no idea how much I’d need and how much others would rely on me to understand.

Never forget who you are and what you know about yourself.  

You can create a way forward that works for you, and you should always do that.